Many of us get to hear this question on a regular basis. Some don’t mind. I definitely do.
In my case being black and being stateless intersect, intensifying the situation even more: Growing up in a western country and a predominantly white environment means that there were times when I was asked this question on a daily basis.
While my first response used to be “Germany”, we all know that this hardly is what the person actually wants to hear. Nobody who asks this question cares about the fact that I was born in Germany. They see my skin colour and, wanting to know more about my “background” rather than the actual facts, they often jump to conclusions and cross personal boundaries they would not cross with a white person. Even though there are people who are black AND German, the most hurtful and annoying part about my situation was that those people were - to some extent - right.
While I was claiming to be “from” Germany, I was actually not German.
The legal reality of me being stateless and without a German nationality prevailed, underscoring the discriminating assumption that a black person could never actually be from a Western country.
Statelessness often intersects with another “trait” that has traditionally been victim to discrimination.
Being a woman, being part of a religious minority, being a person of colour - you name it. I recently had a conversation with another stateless person about this. They referred to it as “double minority”. It felt so true that it gave me goosebumps.
The identity of stateless people has various diverse layers and it should be up to us if and with whom we share these layers. Unfortunately, societal pressure is a fact and I would be lying if I said that staying true to my boundaries comes easy to me in those situations. It’s never not uncomfortable.
This is why we decided to start a list of potential ways to respond to these potentially boundary-crossing questions, in case you do not want to answer them sometimes as well.
We hope that the wisdom and experience from this community will help to enrich this list.
What are ideas or answers you have come up with in the past?
We would love for you to share them.
“Thank you for showing your interest. I’m a person who choses to share this information on my own terms. Thanks a lot for understanding”
“Thanks for asking. If you are referring to where my parents are “from”, I hope you don’t mind me saying that I would prefer it if you asked them directly. Thanks for understanding.”
“I am from another dimension “
“I am from my mother’s uterus “
or you say:
“I am stateless and therefore I have no nationality.
You might be confused about what that means and that's normal.
The issue is complex.
If you are interested in learning more about it, I recommend you to google the word "statelessness".
Have any additional ideas? Share them .